The story of may hair is not a very straightforward one. Indaba yakhona ayikho straight. Ifun' i ruler. It requires the 30cm ruler. And the 750ml bottle of Amarula Cream with lots of ice.
In June 2013 I cut my hair. This was a big deal because I had not cut it in a long time. I just used to trim it a bit now and again. But I had not actually cut it since 1993 when our dream died in Yaounde. Cameroon beat our Dream Team 3-1. The margin was too 'final'; it was too much for me to take.
In 1993 my hair was long and natural. My sister Sifelani made sure it was creatively plaited every week without fail, at no cost. I love the styles. Then the Warriors lost when I was confident they would qualify for the 1994 FIFA World Cup. I was so livid I cut my hair. That was a significant action because it symbolised a great loss. I loved the Dream Team and its coach the late Reinhard Fabisch. I doubt I will ever do that again for any of our sports teams. By the way, my mother did not understand why the loss affected me so much. She was very suspicious. But that's a story for another day.
Why did I cut my hair in 2013? I think I had been toying with the idea for years but every time I mentioned it my hairdresser would have none of it. Maybe because I realised my children had never seen me with natural or short hair. I don't know why but that bothered me. Maybe I wanted them to see the bumps on the head? Or just see what I looked like many years ago? I am not sure but I know once I cut my hair I was relieved. Relieved that I did not have to go to the salon regularly or spend hours trying to decide which hairstyle I wanted next.
Now may hair has grown again. I am back doing the salon routine again. I am not sure at this point if I I am going to cut my hair again. Maybe. Maybe not. Who knows?
But I know that I love my hair, whether it is natural or not. I see it is as an important part of who I am. But I do not believe that having a weave means I aspire to be white. Or that I don't appreciate being black. Not at all. It just means I understand that I can do so much with my hair if I want. And I am under no pressure from anyone really. I can grow it if I wish. Straighten it if I please. Or cut it if I want, for whatever reason.
My hair is part of my femininity. I embrace it wholeheartedly. And I love it. Natural or not. Long or short.