My mother with my son in December 2013
Today I celebrate life. Not that I do not celebrate on all other days, but today is extra special. So my celebration is even more special. Today my mother turns 80. MaHadebe who gave birth to 9 members of the Tshabangu clan is 80 years today. This is a big deal for me. In fact, it is a very big deal.
You see, in Grade 4 my mother said to me “kumele ufunde ukwenza izinto wedwa. Kanti ngingavuka ngifile uzakwenzani?” (You should learn to do things on your own [mostly housework]. If I die tomorrow, what will you do?”). That was the year my father died, so death seemed ever so real and ever so near. From that time, the fear of death was always somewhere in my sub conscious. It is difficult to imagine now that I was only 10 and having to deal with the prospect of death. I am not entirely the 10 year old Buhle fully understood death, but it was clear that when one dies, you do not see them again.
But today I celebrate life. The woman who said she could die any day when she was 50 has been blessed with 30 more years. And that is a big deal. She has seen all of her children bear their own children. She even has great grandchildren now. Sadly, she has had to bury some of her children. But she is still alive.
Now that I think about it, the prospect of death influenced a lot of what happened as I grew up. I had to cook, wash clothes and clean the house because who would look after me if MaHadebe died? More importantly, would they be prepared to do those things for me?
MaHadebe has always imparted many skills and wisdom to her offspring. The wisdom came in the form of “lessons”. One such lesson was on family and the importance of protecting it. She taught us not to let outsiders come between us. “Defend your sibling in public, but rant in private if you must.” I have passed this on to my children as well.
As I celebrate my mother’s birthday I also reflect on what she has had to overcome, especially the death of her husband, dealing with his selfish relatives who wanted to take away property and bringing up children on her own. She stood her ground and despite the odds, she led the family capably.
Today I celebrate life because, despite all she has endured, MaHadebe is still standing. I am celebrating because life is a gift that we sometimes take for granted, and yet it can be taken from us when we least expect it.
She is still alive to see the Tshabangu clan grow. My siblings and I have been blessed to have Virginia Ntombizini "Mankazanyana" Tshabangu as our mother. I thank God for blessing her with long life.
Happy 80th birthday to my mother. This calls for an Amarula with lots and lots of ice. Oh and some braai of course. Amhlophe ntombi kaMatshazi loMzanywa. Amhlophe Bhungane, Makhulukhulu, Dlomo, Mthimkhulu, Gobizembe, Tshwabada- wena owatshwabadela inkosi kunye labantu bayo.
She is one hell of a woman
She is a phenomenal woman
She can withstand anything that life throws her way
She can weather the storms that come her way
She is my mother!!!