The media recently reported that a 14-year-old girl was allegedly forced to marry a 47-year-old man who had raped and infected her with HIV. How was the girl supposed to feel? And at14 years can she be said to be married?
This case reminded me of one where a family reported their daughter’s rape only because the rapist did not honour a promise to compensate the family. So, the family negotiated with the rapist. Safe to say the case would have gone unreported if the rapist had paid whatever he was supposed to. No one took the girl’s feelings into account. I found myself asking what kind of a mother does that to her own daughter. Maybe she was given no choice by her husband? Whatever the case is, I was shocked that a family could actually negotiate with a criminal. Who does that?
It is really disheartening to see that there is a trend where relatives are conniving with rapists to conceal the crime. Rape is a crime. But do the relatives know or understand this? Do they understand the trauma that the girls have to live with? Do they even take the girls for counselling? Children need parents’ and relatives’ protection but if those same people are violating them what then? Where will these girls go? What can we do?
If ever there was a time for Zimbabweans to work together to solve a problem- it is now. Yes, we are faced with many problems- decline is disposable income, unemployment and many others. But rape should not be AOB (Any Other Business). It should be everyone’s main business. Not just the women’s organisations or women.
And whatever we do we should remember that rape is not just about a girl or woman not consenting to sex. It is more than that. It comes with trauma. And for girls, it may also mean confusion over sex and sexuality. Families need to understand that rape is a crime and it should be reported. Negotiating with rapists should be outlawed.
There have been calls for stiffer sentences for rapists. This is a good starting point but we need to go further to ensure that we protect girls and women. We need to bring back the safe spaces.